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The issue I had before has been recently sidelined by another thing that has popped up in my mind. Or, more accurately, subbed out, because this thing was part of what I was going to post before. However, the combination of being dead to the world immediately after work for about fifteen hours and then spending most of the wake time cleaning and talking to friends let that particular bit of painful remembrance peter out.

So on to another point.

The few people who know me really well know that I half-joke about a sort of rule I have. A rule that says that if you are a female friend of mine who enters into a new long-term relationship, I will not talk to you for roughly three weeks while you get all the euphoria out of your system. Not a personal slight against you, but for the longest time I would respond by either taking an AVGN-style diarrhea dump all over your parade, or being rapidly driven to tears, so it would be better for all involved if I just stayed out of it until I could handle it a bit better.

This is coming up again as one friend of mine, who also had the double whammy of being someone I was interested in at one point, just found a boyfriend, and the majority of her Facebook status updates are talking about how much she loves him and how he's the greatest guy alive and all that. I'm not as bothered by it as I used to be, partially because I've gotten older, wiser, and generally more apathetic towards life than I used to be, and also because unlike before, I've actually gone on a few dates with a few different women and no longer believe that I'm doomed to be alone for the rest of my life.

In any case, amidst the painful remembrances that triggered the post I would have been making now had I not been distracted by happier things was a truth that I hadn't thought of until now, and when I remembered it, it hit me like a Terry Funk left hand.

The worst offender about the new-relationship euphoria was not any woman I know. It was me. I offended enough that, had I been like this now and for as long as I had been, I'd have dropped myself as a friend. I dropped other girls as friends for far less.

I also know -why- I was such an offender. It wasn't really my first relationship (though I was pretty offensive for a while then as well), but it was by far the best at the time. One I was serious about. What it amounted to was basically finally having a genuine love, or at least genuine largest crush ever, actually requited. This was me just shy of twenty-one, and my experiences before that were ... well, few and mostly crap with maybe one or two bright spots. Beyond that, a semi-little-known fact about me is that for the longest time, my only ambition in life was to be married. I see nothing wrong whatsoever with being a house-husband, and in some cases (like being there to raise my children) would actually prefer it.

The short version is that the relationship was the Biggest Deal Ever to me. Back then I had no real brain-to-blog filter, so naturally I gushed and gushed and gushed. Pretty much the entirety of the four months we were together, and plenty before that since we were close long before we were official.

So why then, did I become someone who grew to despise that very thing in other female friends? Well, it's obvious to say that the rather ... spectacular way the relationship ended had a lot to do with it. Or the other things that happened as a result, which deprived me of almost the entirety of my support network. Or her semi-effortlessly moving on while I was still stuck. Or the fact that it reminded me painfully of what in many ways is still the best times of my life, with a woman who still has yet to really be replaced after almost seven years and in some ways will never be replaced, and led me to torture myself in anguish over what could have been? Fact is, I could sit here and come up with a lot of reasons for it, and they'd all be understandable.

It doesn't mean that it's not dumb of me despise it.

The girl who just found a boyfriend? I know why -she's- gushing. She's been just about as unlucky in love as I have been, and our last relationships ended on similar notes, and just a couple of months before she hooked up with this guy ... even a couple of -days- before she was, she too was lamenting her lot in life and depressed over the possibility that she was going to be alone forever. Another friend who gushed? It was her first boyfriend, and she too was worried about being alone. Another still found someone with so much common ground that she didn't think it was possible, and now they're happily married after a very long engagement. Yet another had been working to overcome some very hefty body and esteem issues and saw her boy as proof positive she had risen above what she once was.

The point is, they all had reasons to be euphoric, and none of them were to rub things in my face.

Does it still bug me? Even though I myself am now approaching a point where I may have cause to be euphoric myself? Yes, a little. I suspect it always will up until things finally come full circle and I can close the book on that chapter of my life, content that I have ceased to be a character in that story. Until the good things from the past are not the best, but are simply among the best.

I just know that before I condemn someone for being too happy about it, I should remember that they're happy for a reason, and that seven years ago, I was in their shoes, so I should only condemn them as I would condemn myself.

Then again, considering how hard I condemn myself sometimes, I ought to let world off a little easier.
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I originally had a longer entry planned, but got distracted by something that prompted a different, but equally long entry. So distracted, in fact, that I won't have time to type it now because I need to be at work soon. It's okay, since really that second topic was heavy, and I want to see if I'll still be in the proper mindset to do it when I get home. If I am, I'll write about it, and if not ... well, I dunno.

The distraction led to some revelations, though whether they were genuine or simply the result of my continually declining circadian rhythm remains to be seen. Those are pretty big on their own, but the biggest one is the one I most want to talk about if my mind still functions when I get home.

Basically, in the wee hours of this morning, I was able to do something that, to the best of my knowledge, I have not been able to do in six-and-a-half years. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't fun, and I don't quite know how I managed to do it or to what I could attribute the ability to do it, but I was able to do it. Hopefully when I get home, I'll be able to do it again, especially because that would mean, among other things, work probably went well.

We'll see what this evening brings.
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 Well, not really so dramatic, and it's less of an end to the era rather than a change in the winds of time.

Red Robin has enjoyed sole dominance of my professional life for the last six-and-a-half years. That dominance has now ended.

No, I didn't lose my job. I'm just now doing something else on top of it. Something that could potentially be very, very exciting and profitable if everything goes well.

Something that could help you as much as it might help me.

As of now, I'm dealing in deals on home phone, wireless, internet, and satellite TV among other things. Not only would doing business through me help me make money, but it would potentially help you -save- it. If saving money on services you use or helping me pay for the services I use sound good to you, then drop me a line and I'll see what I can do for you.

Interestingly enough, since technically this is my own business, that means that, like Seanbaby of seanbaby.com, if I were to go get myself a bunch of junk food, it would be a company party. No matter what I do ... company party. Oh yeah.

Now time for some company sleeping.
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 I figure I'll post this here to remind myself, since I know I'll see it at least once or twice (on both blogs) and I figure it'll serve as good reminder.

If I'm gonna do something for my birthday, I need to come up with it ASAP. Would be rude of me to make last-minute plans after constantly asserting that I can't conform to those because of my job, and would kinda like everyone I'd want to be there, to be there, yanno?

Also, if I'm thinking about actually cancelling my time-off request due to wanting to pick up a shift, paranoia about losing shifts, or some other crap, I am to cut it out immediately or face consequences, including but not limited to the wrath of Heatherface and being beaten to death by a giant wiener.

Yes, that could be a double entendre.

Should also keep thinking about future projects as well ...
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 The blog has not died. It's just been sent to Florida Championship Wrestling for training and repackaging.

Probably truer than most, since, while I'm not 100% sure everyone in my life would agree, I think I've made a lot of changes and strides over the current year. Would have been nice to write about them, I know, but part of those changes came with little time to write and immersion in a few different things.

However, NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are coming up, and I've been spending a lot of time talking with friends who are very into writing, which has made me want to figure something out. The aforementioned changes gave me a couple ideas for projects, and, at least right now, I'm feeling more motivated than ever before to get them done. One of the projects I'm currently undergoing isn't overly blogworthy, but the other certainly is, and I just might do it.

No decision yet on whether it will be an LJ or DW exclusive, or even if I may coin another blog for it, but rest assured, I'll be using both LJ and DW to keep everyone posted and such. Gotta make it work, yanno?
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So this is it. New Moon's official opening night, which as predicted is provoking strong reactions. The Twilighters are going gaga even though most of them probably went to the midnight showings, and the anti-Twilighters want to set them on fire. Me, I find myself not caring really, as can be evidenced by the fact that I've been at this for a while now and am only at chapter five. There's a good way to sum this up though, I think.

"For you, the day New Moon graced your theaters was the most important day of your life. But for me ... it was Friday."

I never intended to have this finished by the day the movie came out. I'm too much of a procrastinator by nature and there are many, many things I would rather do than read some book I don't get into very much. So I get easily distracted by video games, friends, better books and movies, watching milk curdle, that sort of thing. However, I do intend to see this through, if only because I said I would and I figure there'll be a nice feeling of accomplishment from it even if I don't get any more comments other than the few I've already gotten.

So in a special edition, not only will you be getting my review of Chapter Five, I'll link you to some thoughts on the New Moon movie, since the only way I'm ever going to see it myself anytime soon is if I'm going with friends, and at least one of them is a female who will be making out with me throughout the boring parts. Maybe later in the book will convince me otherwise, but so far it's not good enough to permit emasculation.

In any case, now for someone who's way too good to be an opening act for my amateur ass. Here's Bob Chipman of The Escapist with his thoughts on New Moon.

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So not long after I got my internet back, I was whisked away for three days and two nights for a job-related function I'd been looking forward to for some time. Three times a year, our region holds what's called a Train the Trainer seminar, where those who would become trainers attend and learn about our training process and associated topics like preparation and delivery, and some who have been trainers for some time attend to review and recertify. I did neither, because this time I was one of the trainers developing the candidates. It was a wonderfully fun experience for me, because despite being a rather non-social creature I enjoy meeting new and awesome people. I got to meet about fifty really awesome people over time, some of which have already availed of themselves of my offer to call me up and ask for advice.

If I did good on this assignment, then I would earn myself the opportunity to be considered for training at more Train the Trainer seminars or even getting to go out and open new restaurants, which is a good road to advancement. Thursday, I was judged as having done just as well as they felt I could, and I'm going to be considered for the next one, which had me jumping up and down. Friday was a good day at work, but I probably overdid the celebration cause I woke up sick Saturday morning.

What does this mean? Well, I did definitely forget about a certain crappy book I was reading in favor of better ones, but with the book sitting right here on my left and a few friends looking forward to the next insallment ... well, I can't disappoint the tens of fans I have, right?


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I must say, even if you're not the type that has something or somewhere to frequent online, having no internet is a major pain in the posterior. Even though I can accurately recall times when there wasn't such a thing, when the internet was still very much a fad in some ways, in this day and age having no internet makes me feel kinda cut off from the world, or at least from satisfying the odd urge to look up something that just randomly pops into my head. Even though the issue is now resolved, I gotta shake my head at AT&T for making the incorrect assumptions that led to this predicament, and the fact that I had to make four calls over two weeks just to get a straight and correct answer (the first three were all wrong somehow) and three more calls over the following week just to get everything back up and running. Dialup just doesn't cut it much in this day and age.

Anyway, enough computer talk. I'll bitch more about my internet woes in my personal journal if I feel inclined. This journal is for bitching about New Moon, and this chapter certainly earned it.

This totally isn't worth the three-week wait, I'm tellin' ya! )
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Recently, I got invited to see Zombieland with some friends, along with some of the wonderfully awesome people responsible for the Halloween Haunt at California's Great America. If you're local, then you probably know what I mean. If you're not or you don't, go here. Afterwards, we adjourned to a residence and enjoyed telling stories by the fire. Most of them were of other haunted house experiences, and it hit me how much Twilightmania hit when more than one of them had a story where a vampire character was compared to Edward Cullen, or asked if they sparkled in the sun, or what not, and there was more than one discussion about the Twilight Saga's less endearing points.

It makes me wonder if anyone ever thought of trying to do some sort of YouTube parody that pit Twilightmania against Pottermania. Or better yet, against Hulkamania. I guess you're stuck with me until someone else does that, so here I'll bring another installment of something that's not nearly as awesome as Zombieland. The first offering got stopped at the line of scrimmage, so let's see if some yardage can be gained here.

Seriously, check out Zombieland if you haven't already! )
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"Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the main event of the evening! The following contest is an unprecedented BEST OF TWENTY-SIX FALLS MATCH, with no count-outs and no disqualifications, and it is for the Internet Heavyweight Championship of the Internet!

"Entering the arena first, is the challenger! From San Jose, California, weighing in at none of your damn business. Representing Team Sea Slug ... J.K. MORENO! And his opponent ... from the mind and pen of Stephenie Meyer, weighing in at 536 pages. Representing Team Twilight ... the current and defending Internet Heavyweight Champion of the Internet ... the former New York Times and USA Today best-selling book, NEW MOON!"


Go Team Sea Slug! )
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Resisting the temptation to use the logo again, since I just used it in the last entry, but I feel kinda proud of myself for making it because it's actually the first picture I ever cobbled together with an editor. Usually I just crop and scale, but this time I did some cutting and pasting and adding text. Sure, there are people with way more Photoshop-fu out there, but I don't even -have- Photoshop and I've never been much of an artist, so yay me!

Before I get into the ground rules of this exercise, I want to give a shout out to the ones who inspired it. Obviously (for those of you who might have read his stuff) major inspirational credit goes to Mike Smith ( http://mike-smith.livejournal.com ) and his humorous critiques of the Harry Potter series which have been giving me lots of laughs and perspective since 2005 (warning: not safe for die-hard Harry Potter fans). He also posted a brief critique of the Twilight Saga as a whole back in August 2008 during the frenzy of the impending release of Breaking Dawn based on their plot summaries on Wikipedia at the time. The review was funny and awesome, because of or in spite of the fact that the plot summaries were crap, and it is my hope I can do for the Twilight Saga what he did for Harry Potter. Or at least entertain and gain new readers.

Another major inspiration is one of my closest and dearest friends, Amanda Dalton ( http://amandadalton.com/index.htm ), who is quite possibly the nicest and most encouraging person I know, and certainly one of the most creative. I figured I had a potential winner on my hands when I mentioned this project to her and she got a maniacal gleam in her eyes and said "Do it!". So I am. It's always encouraging to know that what you do will make at least one person smile and laugh.

Credit also goes out to all the friends and acquaintances whom I've discussed the possibility of this project with, in particular Steve ( http://pandoras-closet.livejournal.com ) and Heatherface ( http://www.heatherface.com ). More inspiration also came from the rapid-fire stylings of Zero Punctuation's Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw ( http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation ), and also from many random women at OkCupid who consider the Twilight Saga to be among their favorite books. If it was under my radar before, it certainly isn't now. Not a bad thing, mind you, because visibility is part of how new fans are born.

All right, without more proving why I'm the Master of tl;dr Disaster ...

The Story So Far ... )
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It began ... as the best-selling review series of all time!

... uh, not really. But still! A simple man with really long hair quested his way into the heart of a nation!

... yeah, that didn't happen either. Even so, now ... for his greatest, and thus far only adventure yet, he will quest ... INTO THIS BLOG!

From the sort of guy that brought you absolutely nothing. A TL;DR adventure for the whole TL;DR family!

This autumn, the temperature will fall ... but something else shall rise!


Dreamwidth: jkmoreno.dreamwidth.org
Livejournal: jkmoreno.livejournal.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jkmoreno
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mikempettit
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Astute people may notice that I haven't blogged much in the last several months. It's only about as obvious as 2000-foot neon sign that says "NO BLOG HERE!"

So this is an update to convey that I'm not dead. Far from it, I've actually been surprisingly social at odd times, but for some reason never wrote about it. So here's an update.

Other than occasional jaunts to the movies with Steve, Rob, and Katie (which sometimes include other people who are awesome company) and work, pretty much nothing whatsoever has happened.

Birthday's coming up, and most like last year I'll probably not want to think about it until the actual day. I'm even likely going to work that day as well, since it's a day to do interviews and I don't wanna make Robert do two weeks in a row. It's only a couple of hours anyhow. I'll live.

I'm actually looking more forward to Rob's birthday than my own. Partially because it seems like it'll be awesome, partially because I don't feel like doing anything for my own and I don't think I'd know what to do if anyone had any sort of plan, and partially because ... it's freaking Rob, nothing else needs to be said, jabroni. Time spent with him and the usual lineup is never bad.

Interestingly enough, I originally only planned to write the first couple of paragraphs, yet here I am still going three paragraphs later. Maybe I should blame Heatherface and Smapsie for this (before anyone asks who Smapsie is, she's a friend, not a blip on the screen of my terminally ill love life, thank you kindly), because ever since Heatherface roped me into her Stickam chats I've actually been using my Twitter more. I can't remember who roped me back into Facebook, so I'm gonna default to Rob and Katie there.

I've even gone back on OkCupid after hearing that Heatherface actually found someone to go out with on there, which is something I'd been putting off because I felt I wasn't ready for any sort of date setting. I'm not optimistic about my chances, though, since while girls get creepy guys I don't get creepy girls. Not that I'd -want- them, but it'd at least make me feel a bit attractive, yanno? The closest thing to getting hit on by an eligible single woman (locally) that I get on any sort of basis is usually from Katie, which ... well, probably says everything there.

Now that the wrong head is rearing itself (the depressive one, you sickos), I think I'm gonna kill this. Maybe something will happen between now and the next five months, other than my birthday and Rob's in any case, and I'll write again. Who knows?

Taking today off from life, though.
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Inspired somewhat by Beth going on about it, I decided to jump on to Dreamwidth and see how that goes. I figure maybe a change in scenery will inspire me to be active. I can post things like movie and video game reviews or whatever.

Before you say "Well, Mikey, why can't you do this over on LJ?" I can! Dreamwidth allows crossposting, it seems. If you over in LJland can read this, then it works!

Perhaps I'll start with some about-me stuff like Beth has, perhaps I'll launch into review. Perhaps I'll end up forgetting. Who knows? But let's roll the dice and see what happens!
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